What the past has taught me is that pain is inevitable. We cannot run from it or hide from it. The only way to get over it is to get through it. I know, easier said than done right? Here is what I learned that helped me get through a breakup. Especially the hard ones!

Surround yourself with people, even if you are not a people person. But also know that it is okay to stick to yourself every once in a while.

Don’t let yourself be a couch potato! I promise that sitting there compressing the couch for seven days straight, watching Grey’s Anatomy will not help. It will only make you sadder. Get up, talk to people, go for walks. It’s okay to stay home, but it is very important to be doing something.

Try new things! That might be easier said than done as well, but it is beneficial even if you don’t think you'll like it.

Meet new people. It doesn’t have to be romantic or anything just a band of friends to talk to.

Work on yourself, it’s so important to stop and focus on yourself. Sometimes getting caught up in the world makes you forget about yourself. I know crazy right?

Talk, ask questions, and maybe even give therapy a try. I found that even if you don’t need it, therapy is very beneficial. Talking is as well! Getting out those feelings on the relationship helps. You’d want to find what you want for the next relationship.

Let those pesky memories pass. It’s okay, I know it hurts to remember what it was and all those good times you had. Think about them and replace them with something else. I promise you will make new memories. And when you do the things you used to do together tell yourself “I will make new memories.” I promise that it works! Trust me on that.

Now this is the hardest thing by far I think I’ve had to do while getting through the break up. It’s stopping talking to the person you broke up with. I promise both of you should stop talking to them. If they are for some reason still connected, like for a child or other reasons. Then that wouldn’t be a good idea. But when you talk to them, it just opens new wounds for both of you if there is no reason to.

Take your time and don’t rush things. Everything will get better with time, I can promise you that. But I can’t promise that it won’t be easy. A guy asked you on a date? Ask yourself if you feel ready, if you don’t that is okay. Not ready to start talking about the breakup? It’s normal. Everyone grieves differently and everyone is different.

Don’t be hard on yourself, learn from your mistakes and continue with life. It will only hurt more if you keep dwelling on the past. I promise you it will get better and things will get easier. Memories will fade and the pain will subside.